Is solitude the refuge only for Geniuses?

Just watched ‘A Beautiful Mind’; a story about the life of John Nash and this got me wondering if it’s only the geniuses who don’t feel part of the regular world. Nothing against the genius but why is it that anyone who chooses to not be part of the regular is looked upon as either a snoot or a potential genius.

I have known a few who don’t go around doing the regular things like going out for dinners, hob-knobbing with the crowd, lighting the dance floor on fire or picking a conversation with people; it’s not like they think that people are not worth talking to but it’s just about not finding the same wavelength or not having the acumen to strike a topic that would be engaging enough for everyone to discuss.

Don’t people like these have the right to do their own thing without being titled one of the above?

Solitude can’t be just for the geniuses, being one is always a very good excuse but what about people with average IQ levels; do they also need an excuse?

People don’t have to be judged basis how many people they talk to; few appreciate their space and don’t need to have justifications or reasons for their behaviour. They are not out to cocoon themselves, they always welcome people who would want to exist in their world, but it’s just that this world doesn’t appeal to a very wide audience.

I come from the atmosphere of a Business School, where befriending as many people as possible is a surrogate for ‘networking’, this word has been bastardized by the all so many people who have made studies at B-school much more about networking than about learning. This attitude puts negative pressure on the students who don’t wish or are unable to have many friends but instead have only a few who they open-up to.

I hope while they may not be the most efficient networkers, they will turn out to be efficient managers because that’s what they are here for.

I want to meet ERASURE ! ! !

Remember the movie with Arnold, released about a decade back where our man is the designated identity changer. Yes, sounds like a very interesting thing to do, in fact I have been toying with it myself these days. Given a choice, I would like to consider having a new identity, it has nothing to do with how fulfilling or happy or for that matter sad my current identity is, but it’s a craving for new.

I have been working fulltime for over seven years now add part time experience would add up to about nine years and the one thing I have noticed is that I was never happy at a single place for too long. Be it an assignment that I was on or the job itself, moving on from one task to the other has always been my thing.

In the long run I have both suffered and gained from this habit. When a kid, I could never stick to a single extra curricular, so I moved from kick boxing, to badminton, to swimming to many more such things, thereby mastering none of the above, but at the same time, I have managed to experience so much more than the regular kids.

Today while at work, I’m not sure what I want to do. I have been in the communications business for over five years now, but am not sure if this is my calling because I have started getting bored of it. The only reason I have survived so long is because of two reasons, one cause I was good at my work so it was always exciting to come to work and the other thing is that advertising can give one the opportunity to work on different brands and hence different tasks, which drains the monotony of being in a single profession for so long.

So while I have spoken about my craving for new, I also need to talk about the other side. I’m extremely nostalgic; I miss what I used to do earlier, sometimes even consider restarting what I once left half way. Be it the easier things to start like getting back to swimming and kick boxing to the tougher things like studying.

I was never a good student in school and college now I seek an opportunity to give myself another shot at studying. I understand that it’s a risky proposition to give a person like me another chance at something I have so badly screwed up in the past, but the world would be far short of success if people did not get a second chance. Some made a come back because they were ousted the first time like Steve Jobs, and others had just left things half way and picked it up later to finish them in style.

I don’t mean to compare myself to the greats, but don’t shy away from picking where you have earlier left off. Be it relations or career opportunities. And guess what, if you really believe in it, you wont have to necessarily change your identity, you as yourself can give yourself another chance and make it big.

So, thanks but no-thanks Erasure! You helped me make a point and now I don’t need you no more.

Now What?

I kept hearing about 'Mid Life Crisis', and people made it out to be a demon. I heard it all and shrugged it saying "What the hell are these losers talking about?"

Cut to now, I think I'm going through a one myself, wondering about what I have done till now. Analyzing what I have learnt in these years, trying to decide what I would want to do in the coming few years, or for that matter in the coming years all together.

When I started my career, I had charted my career, where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, how I wanted to go about it and all I did now was to work as a stepping stone to where I wanted to be, but now looking back, I am questioning; maybe it still is all right, but the tough task master I am, I want to question the progress I have made.

Could I have done better? Is this the best I can do? Is this all I can do?

All of the above questions sometimes pull me down, but quite often make me to strive harder. Not to prove to the world what I have done, but more to prove to myself that I can do better that what I have already done.

All of this is OK, what is the way forward? I think I want to continue striving to achieve the best, though still not crystal about my next steps, I still want to work towards the best possible solution. No one is going to tell me what is right, I will have to figure that myself.

My recommendation to anyone else who feels anything like the above, keep doing what you do best. If you feel you are not doing good enough, Great! Do better than now, keep challenging your own effort.

Trying to Quit

I've been smoking for sometime now and there have been umpteen people around me who have asked me to quit, but it never happens. Everytime someone asked me to quit, and depending who was asking, I either tried to reduce the numbers or more often just smoke hiding from these people.
But there've been these few times when I have decided to quit and that's the only time I have lasted long enough to make a difference.
What I am trying to say is that, don't wait for people to ask to you to not smoke, just go ahead and decide for yourself. Now, you may be thinking "Has this guy ever had a single drag of smoke? Has he ever felt that urge that gets doused when you have that drag after you reach work, after a meal, while having a drink etc?" I really know what you are talking about and I agree that you will have to have a compelling reason to quit, so I'll try putting down a few things that can be useful.
First step is to convince yourself to quit...
Each one of us has something that is REALLY important in our life, so be it attracting the opposite sex, your family, the environment, your health, respect to elders etc etc, now in each of the case, you would realize, you will get the best results without that stick in your hand, think about each, and believe me, you will realize that its best that you quit. Now this takes sometime, just reading it here wont convince you, mull over it a bit, sleep over the idea and maybe you will see where I'm coming from.
Next step, which is after you have decided to quit, is to sustain...
If you search the net, you will find a zillion sites that will talk about how to stop smoking, what I will try and do is just let you know what worked for me.
After I decided to quit, the first thing I do is go tell the close friends around that I have quit, once U have done that, I'm fairly conscious because I don't want any of these guys to come and mock at me saying "I told you, you wont be able to do it" it fucking pisses me off, so I decide to show it to them all that I can do it. While this is my most hard working technique, the others are things like, I keep telling myself that I can do this, give myself a timeline that, I have stay quits atleast for 'x' months. All this put together pulls me off without any smokes for a few months.
I have done the above a few times and has always worked for me, while I know the best thing would be to quit for good, but if that's now happening, let me try to stay away for as much time as possible, I'm sure it does some good.
The reason for telling this all to you was because, starting today, I'm gonna be off smokes for sometime, and by telling you I have only increased the number of people who I will have to face if I give up.
Happy Not Smoking to you...

Hindi Chini Bhai Bhai

The statement suddenly seems to have a new meaning to me. Lately I have had extensive interactions with people inhabiting the land to the north-east of my country. Beyond that I came across an article in the National Geographic Magazine and it surprised me, how similar we are. Really! You have to read the article to know what I am saying, to actually experience the feeling of oneness. (http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2008/05/china/journey/hessler-text)

The article takes the reader through various aspects of the country, viz. the highest rate of GDP growth (similar to ours, just that they have had it for over 3 decades now), the real estate boom, the growing urbanization, the generation gap, the bureaucracy, the divide between the lower and the upper class, the growing middle class that is trying the bridge the gap unsuccessfully and many more such things. What struck me was that we really were so similar but yet we look upon each other as rivals, enemies, someone we need to grow beyond.

I have always believed in the good of the world, I believe every human being is a nice person, their actions are a result of ambitions or circumstances that could be very similar to ours, hence our perception in their mind is the same as their's in our's.

Can't we change this, each of us have weakness and strengths, can't we work together to make the other more efficient and hence better than the rest in the world? They have a, English language problem, which we can address, we have a manufacturing efficiency problem which I'm sure they can help us with, this while we can also help them with being better at the service industry, then there are things that neither of us can help, like the severe paucity of palatable water and the aging population of China versus the perpetual instability of the government problems here. Each of the country can look at few of the above problems and try to pacify ourselves about how one of these problems will bring the other one down but no one seems to be thinking of how to co-exist better.

Competing is good, while happily co-existing is other. This is a personal view but I believe competing at an individual level is nice and should prevail but between nations, it should be a feeling of harmoniously co-existing. I know what I am talking about can looked as either Utopian or just lack of competitive spirit but I think it's the one way in which the world can exist for longer in a livable state, if each of the nations try being the best then there will be conflict and its not the thing we want to leave back for the next generation.

I'll leave this topic open, as this is not the conclusion, but a point to be discussed, if you have any thoughts please feel free to leave your comments behind, would love to discuss the same.

Finding Friends, both New and Old

Every one of us has experienced the joy of finding things at the most unexpected places. Like when was the last time you pulled out a very old pair of trousers from your wardrobe, wore it, and just when you were walking out of the house, you slipped your hand inside the pocket and found a 50Rs note, wasn’t that exciting? Or that Slam Book you made while passing out of school, with notes from all the fiends and those subtle hints from that someone special, reading that must’ve been nostalgic.

So is the case with me in the recent times. I have recently been spending a lot of time with my older friends from college, and also find new friends. I don’t have an answer to why I did not do it earlier, but now that I am doing it, the feeling is no less exciting then felt in the situations above.

Yesterday, I was out with a completely new set of people, people who were acquaintances in office, but by the time we ended the evening, we had already found new friends in each other.

The idea of writing this note was to just remind anyone who reads it that, there are a lot of people out there that you could find a friend in, just step out and look for them, you sure will find ample. Infact a good start could be here, last evening the three of us decided that we will plan a trip to the Sula Vineyards next weekend, so if you want to join in, you are most welcome.

Cheers..

Planning to Study after working for a few years?

Let me start by telling you that it is quite an experience. It has both positive and not so positive effects. But its all worth it, I am talking out of my experience so this may be slightly case sensitive, you can choose to ignore the parts that are not relevant.

I am an advertising personnel for the past 5 years and was keen to add a few relevant letters on my resume (read MBA). I was contemplating for the past four years. Infact three years back I took the CAT, which could (if I did well) get me into one of the most esteemed schools in India, the IIMs. I did OK, but OK was not good enough for the best schools in the country. So had to drop my plans that year. After that I actually moved jobs and came settled into Ogilvy Mumbai. Got into the job and forgot all about my studies, till last year, that's when it started troubling me like something stuck between my teeth. So I started hounding my bosses for a long leave, and since I hadn't taken one, I had every right to ask for a long leave. After a lot of contemplation and postponing, I finally got my leave starting Nov 19th.

Well, I guess, you would be wondering why am I giving you all the gyaan about how I got my leave and what is the history to my taking the exams etc, but the point was to give you a quick view of the mind set with which I went into my preparation.

I studied for six weeks. My very strong recommendation... One doesn't need classes and private tutors to teach you, especially stuff that you have learned at some point in your life. This time is to refresh your memories of whatever you learned in school college etc, and take my word for it, its not so difficult. Just give it a concentrated effort and you can rest assured you will get a grip of everything. In terms of time spent of various things, I spent about the first half week unwinding, the next two and half weeks for brushing my basics and the final three weeks taking tests etc to prepare for the final test.

I could have written about how I prepared etc, but neither am I an expert, nor am I wanting to write about that. I wanted to share with you the softer side of studying after you have been working for sometime.

I think these six weeks were when I enjoyed studying most. I enjoyed refreshing my memory of all that I had forgotten and take my word for this, it was damn exciting. Initially, to get answers right, I would even hear myself saying "I am not bad yeah!" Over the course of time I figured my levels and had in my mind built what I was expecting from my test. Its a different thing, I didn't really match-up to my expectations of myself, but that's a different story, am keen on working towards bettering my scores.

After the test, while I have to start the process of applying to schools etc, I have resumed work and it all seems so new and different. New because I have been out of touch for six weeks and a lot has happened in this period and different because I just about got used to having such a different lifestyle, void of traveling everyday, not dealing with crisis every next day and most importantly having the luxury of doing things at my own pace. I am working towards getting comfortable with my original lifestyle but honestly speaking the one thing that I really want to do more now is study. Learn more. Learn something new, whether it comes from faculty at a school that I join or from newer roles at my place of work.

I would like to conclude with saying that studying after a long time at work is tough, just as much as people make it out to be, but the experience is enriching. The opportunity of learning new things is extremely exciting in itself, its the same as joining a new job with an exciting profile.

Here's Wishing anyone who plans to take up studies, All the Very Best.

Imagine...

Have you ever imagined, what would have happened if we would utter only one word and communication would happen through facial expressions and the number ways you can say the same word. The human face would have developed extra muscles to deal with the wacko expressions.

Imagine if one could actually pluck stars off the sky, the world would be so much more of a brighter and hotter place.

Imagine if a human had to fall asleep in the day time and not the night, would it mean he'd have to make darkness when he wants to stay awake and light a bulb when he wants to sleep.

Imagination can go wild, the more one sits and spends time thinking, you'll have things that could be not the way there and this drives you towards questioning why things are the way they are and aren't they great the way they just are. This will help you love and respect everything that you have and make the best of what all you could have. This makes life a more fullfilling experience.